[Simple stage, a blue bathtub, lit by one spotlight. As the play opens, BRUNO, an adolescent, is in the tub. As the curtain rises, he notices THE BOTTLE]
BRUNO: Daddy! Noooo! Nooooo! Not the bottle! NOT THE BOTTLE! I know where that goes. I know this is going to be horrible. Nothing good could possibly come of this.
DADDY: But baby, your ear is ooky. This will make you feel better.
BRUNO: NOOOO! Don't stick it in my ear! You're sticking it in my ear! THE HORROR! HALP! Someone call the poh-lice! My rights are being violated! Call Child Protective services! I'm being abused! This is the awfulest thing anyone has ever done to anybody in the history of ever! This is against the Geneva Conventio...
Oh... oooohhhhhh. Oh, daddy, that feels much better, thank you. Kisses!